Woman Discovers She’s the Only Bridesmaid Not Allowed a Plus-One at Friend’s Wedding

A woman says she was surprised and hurt to find out that she is the only bridesmaid “denied” a plus-one at her best friend’s upcoming wedding.

The 28-year-old woman explained the situation in a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum, recounting how she asked the bride if she could bring her girlfriend of two years to the wedding after receiving a formal invitation and noting there was no mention on it of a plus-one.

“The bride said ‘yes,’ but she was just going to check with the groom. We also had another quick chat where I said we would be willing to pay for any additional costs for her,” she wrote.

Just a few days later, however, the woman got a text message from the bride “saying sorry but I can’t have a plus-one as they have said no to ‘other guests.’ ”

“Because I live around four hours away and her and her fiancé haven’t really met my [girlfriend], at first we understood and explained that as the hotel was so expensive and it’s a journey she would come to stay with me but not attend the wedding or reception. They agreed,” she continued.

But as she thought more about it and “learned more information,” the woman began to question the real reason behind the couple’s choice to deny her a plus-one. She wondered if maybe it was because she has only met the groom a few times, but then she learned that another bridesmaid, whose partner has only met the groom once, has been given a plus-one invite.

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“Understandably, my girlfriend is getting a bit insulted and honestly doesn’t want to go now even if she got a full formal invitation,” the woman wrote. “I’m so torn [about] being part of the wedding party. I won’t decline or make drama, but I think this is the beginning of a more distant friendship between [the bride and me].”

When the woman told her mom and sister about the situation, they called the soon-to-be-married couple’s actions “rude” and even suggested “the groom might have hesitation as we’re the only queer couple that would be a part of the wedding party.”

In the comments section, Reddit users encouraged the woman to stand up for herself and skip the wedding.

“Do not go. Send your regrets and leave it be. You already know in your gut this is a crappy friend who doesn’t support you. Why even entertain spending money or emotional bandwidth on them?” one person wrote.

“I wouldn’t go. Your friend doesn’t respect your relationship but wants you to stand up in honor of hers. That’d be a no from me,” another commented.

Many other people accused the bride and her fiancé of being homophobic.

“OP [original poster], are all the other plus-ones in straight relationships? Something doesn’t seem right…” one commenter suggested, prompting someone else to reply, “Yea…it would be one thing if there was an objective standard like no plus-ones if you aren’t married, but they are clearly singling her out.”

“I think you need to read in between the lines and get the memo,” yet another Redditor chimed in. The message is very clear. Save yourself some time and money.”